The Exceptions

He is silent, helpful, clever and one of the most principled people I have ever met.

She has a great sense of humour, a flair for giving advice, passion for life and a great love for music.

Neither of them have PhDs, but he has a masters from IIT Delhi and she is a gold medalist from one of the best universities here.

To you they might be partially interesting strangers, to me and my sister, they are Mom and Dad.

When they’d gotten married, they barely knew each other, a near scandalizing thought to me. I cannot imagine it- even when faced with proof of it day in and day out.

Dad’s got a soothing presence, while Mom’s constant moving has me feeling like a lazy bum.

When I want a hug, just… because, I go to dad. When I have a problem, I run to mum- and then get a hug anyway.

Sometimes, even that reverses. Throughout my childhood Dad has been the constant pillar I could lean on, and Mom the one who helped me fight my demons.

But that was nothing more than “Mom and Dad” for me. That’s what they were there for, right?

Dad’s job in the Navy and then in ship building caused him to leave us a lot  in the middle, and that was my wake up call.

Suddenly things had changed. Mom was working, but she also played the role of Mom and Dad. Of course Dad’s daily (or 3 times a day) phone calls helped too.

He visited us once a month or so- and you could literally hear the house sign in relief as the madness slowed down to a crawl around him.

And all through, for me, he was “Dad”.

Now I am old enough to see that if either of them wanted, they could have bailed on us anytime. There was no need for Dad to shunt up and down so much, to call so much and overwork himself. There was no need for mom to face our adolescence alone either, while managing a difficult boss at her job, no need for her to face the tension about what our exams meant for our future.

Either of them could have stopped caring and thought about themselves- it takes less than a second to do so.

But when the going got tough- Mom and Dad stood by what was best for us, not caring what it could mean for them.

So what did it mean for them?

Dad finally shunned his job that far off from us and took a transfer to one that would bring him back to living with us. We were ecstatic- naturally, but none of us more so than Mom.

I still dont know exactly what it cost Dad to do it- and the implications in his job, but I do know that he’s never been more happy- neither has my mom.

And the best part is when we (my sis and I) sent Mom and Dad off together for a short trip nearby, they returned early because they were “bored without us”. 

Yet when I see them together, Dad’s teasing- Mom’s sarcastic response- I just know I am beyond lucky to have grown up with them- and I just instinctively know it would have been the same even if I didn’t share genes with them.

Till today I see them asking each other the simplest things, I have to remind Dad to buy Mom flowers for their anniversary and my sis explains Dad would be home on time if his job allowed for it- and I just am filled with warmth.

This is my family. They are where I came from- I have all genes in me, Mom’s curiosity and Dad’s lack of, Mom’s temper and Dad’s practicality, and all their other genes, recessive or dominant.

I can choose to be like either of them as per the moment purely because I have both of them in me.

I woke up to my Dad teasing my mom today. I woke up startled, but when I realized what had wakened me, I couldn’t help but smile.

My parents. Separation, five or more years of adolescence from 2 girls (and mine was especially bad), all our house moving, the job pressures- nothing kept them apart.

Of course they still fight- but who doesn’t? Its in their compromises I read the love.

Almost all my life I said to myself, I made me. This could have been because it was “cool” to say it, or because in my ignorance I really believed it.

But now I know better.

I am who I am- because of my parents. Whether they directly influenced me or I learnt from the lessons they went through, I know I am who I am because I grew up with them.

Because they looked after me, care for me and loved me unconditionally.

And, I might add, they are still hip in their own ways, despite being my parents and all.

Dad wanted to teach us how to drive- and he did without turning grey. Mom loves my music and when she walks into my room, she increases the volume. 

My parents. I don’t say it often enough, but I love them and more importantly I respect them.

I never thought I’d say it, but I find myself forced to. Here goes-

Thank God for arranged marriages!